some thoughts

~ amazed that we are in February already, what happened to January?

~ feeling under the weather for days now

~ surprised by the sunlight

~ creating doll dresses

~ blessed by the lives of my 3 girls

~ thankful for a husband who loves me for who I am

~ awed by the beauty of freshly fall snow

~ inspired by color, life, little things

~ thankful for passions, hobbies, friends

~ centered on finding God's will for my life

~ peaceful about where I am in life

sisters

they laugh, giggle, cry and fight,

sometimes they drive each other crazy

but somehow they always grow closer,

understanding each other, needing each other

training thoughts

I read a saying that went something like this:

When you train do not think that you have to win

Rather train so that you cannot lose

you know you live in a northern community when...

Okay, okay!  I know this is a little bit similar to my last post.  However, I can't resist.  So, there is no stopping me.

As some of you know I live fairly fair north.  During the shortest days of winter our sun doesn't come up before 8:30 and goes to bed early, like before 4:30.  Gets pretty long, dark and cold up here!

So, being the industrous Canadians that we are, we find to ways to recreate to keep us busy, out of trouble and possibly to keep us from going "squirrely" when winter descends down upon us.

One thing that I enjoy doing, other than my knitting, quilting, sewing, reading, is attending our local dojo.  A place to train in martial arts and other things, like karate, kickbox, point-fighting and kickbo.  Keeps me busy and hopefully healthy.

Soon, I am suppose to be competing in both kata (karate forms) and point fighting.  One sensei (coach) has been giving my team mate and I a little more focused attention to get us ready for the event.  He has been running us through drills, combinations and giving lots of tips of what to expect when we get there.

He is very good at what he does.  Very focused and passionate.  I really respect him and appreciate his coaching.

But the other day I just couldn't help laughing and laughing when he suggested that part of our training should be stump jumping!  Stump jumping you say?  Yes, you heard correct! 

His thought was that we could put a stump in our backyard and practise jumping on and off of it.  After I made a fool of myself laughing, I had to admit it really makes sense because it helps us move better vertically, control movement and be quick.

I just can't get over the image of my neighbours looking out their back window, calling their husband over and whispering "Oh honey, I really think she might have lost it this time.  Such a shame, she was such a nice lady!"

Oh the North!  What a great place to live!

Excuse me now, while I go find me a stump.

you know you live in a small town

Okay some of you probably have never had the feeling.  Some of you live in big cities where you can live your life with a fair amount of anonymity.  You carry on your daily tasks and never run into anyone you know all day.

In a small town it is a little different than that.  Okay we have 5000 people, but you do tend to rub shoulders with the same people alot.

First of all people wave at you when you are driving.  Of course there are two camps "wavers" and you guessed it "non-wavers".  When we moved here 15 years ago I was a definite non-waver!  Who thought to notice anyone else on the one road that runs straight through town?  Anyways, I digress!

In a small town you see people you know or recognize all the time.  It is a part of life.  Most days it is kind of comforting.

However the other day, I realize how small SMALL is when an acquaintance stopped me in the grocery store to say that my daughter had called her on her cell phone.  Hmm?  I asked what she meant.  She relayed  back that my middle daughter had called and said that her sister was bugging her.  This acquaintance paused during the conversation and said "I don't think you got your Mommy!"  To which my daughter replied "That's not funny Mom!"  Remember her sister was bugging her.

So the conversation went on between my daughter and "Surrogate Phone Mommy".  Finally they got themselves straightened out when Phone Mommy told my daughter my name. 

So entirely bizarre.  I asked Phone Mommy how she knew it was my kids?  She said she put two and two together by their names.  I know we have been gymnastics moms together, seen each other at the beach and park....still bizarre!

It's a small town world after all!

loving her opa

At bed my daughter asked, "Mom why are Opa's eyebrows so long?" (Yes I know, a little random, but it happens around here)

To which I replied, "It's just the way he was made!"

"Well, I told him he should cut them!" she said

"What did he say?" I asked

"That he doesn't want to because he likes them." After a little pause she continued and said "But I think that's good because they can protect his eyes from the sun!"

So funny! Especially if you know my daughter and her Opa.

celebrate your love affair with knitting

Below, I have included a section from Interweave's Knitting Daily message for today. I thought that all of us who love knitting (and other crafts) might understand....

Celebrate Your Love Affair with Knitting

When most people talk about their Valentine, they're usually talking about a person. Well, one of my Valentines this year is going to be to my knitting! I love it so much, let me count the ways:

1. It fills my life with color

2. It encourages my creativity

3. It keeps my hands busy

4. It introduces me to new people who share my love for the craft

5. It loves to travel

6. It likes the same TV shows that I like

7. It keeps the same schedule as I do; if I want to knit in the middle of the night, it's there for me!

8. It likes to change bags as much as I do!

9. It challenges me

10. It keeps me company, even when I'm cranky

slipping by

I am not really sure where my days have gone.

January feels like a blur. Busy! At times terribly cold and gray. Seems like days flow into each other.

We have been busy with activities, crafting, reading, school, snow play and science experiments (today we were bending light).

Yet in a way everything seems plain old ordinary. I can't quite pin down the passage of time into anything "BIG". Just little moments chained together to make the days full and the weeks slip by.

And I guess that's okay too.

the everyday moments

This little girl of mine is one of a kind.

When she wants a hug or a cuddle she will literally climb up you to get one.

When I am teaching school, she often wiggles her way in between books and paper and snuggles in.

~

On the other hand, when she needs space, move away and give her some.

~

Tonight when I was tucking her, I wanted a snuggle, but she didn't and slid over to the other side of the bed. So I kneeled beside her bed in the semi-darkness and kept talking to her.

All of a sudden she was back on my side of the bed, asking if I was sad. I told her that I wasn't really, but had just wanted a hug.

~

She immediately hopped up and embraced me. Afterwards, she sat on her heels and said "Momma I love you, but there is a God up in heaven that loves you a whole lot more than I do!"

~

I was stunned by her words and the timing of their delivery. Knowing that she gave me what I thought needed (a hug) but pointed me to what I really need every day, God!

surprised by the light

I find that this time of the year always catches me by surprise.

It feels like the days have been cold and short forever. You forget what the sun feels like. It only stays for a few short hours of the day.

When I still worked outside the home, I would go to work at 8 a.m. in the dark and come home at 4:30 in the dark.

Then all of a sudden, without warning, you realize that your days have gotten a little longer. Just long enough that it gives you hope. Hope to see you through the cold and snow for a couple more months. And a sense of relief that the longest part of winter might just lay behind us.

pressures

Tonight the girls and I had an interesting conversation at supper. They were lamenting. Struggling a bit. Feeling the pressure to grow up, when they have hardly had the chance to be a kid.

Apparently, a couple of kids have said directly to them, that they think they are too old to play with barbies and dolls. They have also perceived this in general from a few others.

The thing that is crazy is that my two older girls are 7 and 9. Pushing 8 and 10. Yes, they can spend hours dressing, caring and making elaborate games with their dolls and barbies. They still play dress-up and polly pockets. But isn't that what childhood is about?

I think our girls are creative. They read feverishly. They spend hours outdoors and find interest in many things this computer generation passes by. Too be honest, in many things I pass by.

They teach me to slow down.
Enjoy the moment.
Look and listen.
Stop.
Breathe.

I wonder what happens when a society tells our children "Grow up!"
"Hurry up!"
When children as young as 10, 11 are reading "Twilight" instead of "Pippy Lockingstocking"

It leaves me sad that our society would want to rush them through this preciously short stage of life....to what?

safety first?

I'm wondering if anyone else sees what's wrong with this picture?
If any other wife might look out the window a second time and raise their eyebrows?

I have a husband that is well versed in safety.

He operates a company that is "safe-certified".

He uses off-road vehicles, ATV's, generators, saws etc. He knows what to do and not to do. More so, he knows how to do it right!

I am certain that if he happened to be the one looking out the window and I was perched on top of the ladder that things might look a tad different from his perspective.

At least he didn't spend the whole afternoon standing up there. After awhile he got tired of standing and tried sitting in the tree. Worked for a while, but not too long.

This next position seemed to work best. Propped up nice and comfy, a few good branches surrounding him. So that if he did fall, those branches might cushion or at least slow his descent.

Heh! Who needs a ladder anyway! Apparently for some jobs they are just over-rated. But then again it is always good to keep it close by, you just don't know when you might need it.

and therefore i will hope

In my part of the world, today was Thanksgiving.

Yesterday, I was outside and I was trying to think of what I was thankful for. I was a little unsettled however, kind of cranky, so the exercise was not proving very fruitful. I should have been thankful for the blue sky and sun on my face, as I usually am but couldn't quite shake the "blahs".

As I planted my fall bulbs and continued to ponder on the topic, I realized that I am thankful for hope. Really thankful actually.

So often I can get lost on this journey of life. I try to figure things and can't make sense of them. I try to understand people or fix a problem and botch it. Sometimes, like yesterday, I just feel discontented and can't completely understand why. At those moments it would be easy to stay there, wallow, get sucked in or just give up.

But we don't need to! We have hope and that really shouldn't be taken for granted. Hope for eternity through Jesus Christ our Saviour. Hope that sets us free to not need to be perfect, have it all together, be understood or even understand. Hope that says God has created us in His image and even though we can't see or comprehend it, we are slowly being molded into his heavenly likeness.

So this Thanksgiving I am thankful for hope. A hope that raises me out of my mire, sets my feet on a solid place, focuses my eyes on the finish line and reminds me that my reward, the one that I truly long form, is not in this world.

explain the unexplainable

Do any of you, can any of you, understand or explain the phenomenon of craving fiber and textiles? Really I spent an hour tonight on Ravelry drooling over various yarns and fibers and thinking of all manner of things that I could create with them. While on vacation, well over a month ago, I saw a new line of fabric from Moda that I loved! Wanted! Even walked away from! But I still keep thinking about it!

Crazy? True!

Then I walk into my craft room and realize that I still have things to knit, things to sew, things to quilt. Projects undone with my girls!

Why does the new call so much? I really REALLY try to use up, rethink, recycle but I still have more! Trying VERY hard not to give into my urges for a new project. Perhaps these are just the unexplainable urges of a crafter!

not the saturday i expected

I killed a dog today.
I ran over it in the middle of street.
I was suppose to be meeting with a friend at church to practise some stuff. She wasn't there. I tried to call her but she didn't answer. That wasn't a surprise. She doesn't always make it to the phone. So I thought I would drive by her house before I gave up on her.

Two girls were at dance. Youngest was in the back.
I was thinking random thoughts.
It was quiet.
I know the route.
I didn't expect anything abnormal.

Then a dog dashed across the road. I thought it came from in front of a van.
I swerved away, but couldn't react fast enough.
A thud. The shock. My brakes screeching.

I got out to see two kids, about 3 and 5, unloading from a van.
It was their dog. It was suffering in the middle of the road.
Their Mom hustled them inside the house.
One of the boys had opened their van door just before I passed and the dog jumped straight in front of us. It didn't have a chance. Doesn't make it easy though.

I have three girls and a dog. I know what it would be like if it was the other way around.
I wasn't suppose to be there at that moment. I shouldn't have been if plans had gone the way I thought.

Heavy-hearted.
Sad.

the contractor life

Once upon a time, there was a way of doing business that held a man to his word. A handshake was considered to be a pledge. A man's word that he would do as he said. Somewhere in history that all changed and now we have legally binding agreements that hold us to contracts made.

That is a little preface to our life lately. We live the life of a "contractor". The nature of our business really doesn't matter. We are a small business that provides services to other companies, so that they can have work completed that they can't do internally.

We, or really the Big Cheese, has signed many contracts. Contracts that often require a deposit, in addition to a signature to indicate that we/he is serious about completing this work. It is Big Company's security that their work will get done. That way if we don't deliver...they get the deposit. Always, always "they" are protected.

But what happens when that grace, that trust, that favour isn't extended the other way? What happens when Big Company says to Little Contractor, who has done exceptional work for many years, that you will get the work again next year as long as you continue to perform? What happens when Big Company says to Little Contractor, you performed, well done, the work is yours again!? What happens when Big Company changes its mind, even though it made promises to Little Contractor?

And most of all what happens when Big Company decides that quality, commitment and relationship are no longer important?

These decisions are being made by big companies everyday. That the quality of the job, the right people, the experience of the workforce and previously made commitments are no longer important. We have become a dispensible. It doesn't matter if you have the equipment and man-power and can deliver the needed services.

No, it seems that now the true mark of a good company is if you can manage to have the lowest bid and somehow manage to continue survive. Squeeze water from a rock anyone?

There I said it! It ain't pretty. It ain't nice. But sometimes life seems like that. Sometimes we want life to be fair, but is it really?

tuckered

i did salsa for most of the day today,

and that wasn't the dance by the way

came home and put my toes in my new homemade slippers,

which took forever to dry, like many days!

(more on that soon)

reworked boo-boo's $5 ballet skirt,

no more ties, just an elastic waist that she can pull on

(more on that too if you want)

started laundry

unloaded my load of salsa mess,

because we made it at church

it meant packing and unpacking today

i will be thankful all winter though!

oh yah, i started sewing a quilt together

for someone that is related to me!

that's all for now

i should sleep

and we should do school tomorrow

because we have been very bad this week!

but doing very good things!

tuesday's thoughts

Then came time came when the risk it took

To remain tight in bud was more painful
Than the risk it took to blossom
-ANAIS NIN

been gone...but now i am back

got home from vacation yesterday

our house is quiet

no more company

no more niece (so sad)

unpacked

re-acquainted

today i hear

my husband working

the washing machine

the dryer

the dishwasher

kids playing

their friends laughing

wasps

today we went

to the doctor, papaya might have strep, boo-boo's finger is still infected and needs oral antibotics

around in circles, kind of like a dog, trying to make its bed comfortable again

to a birthday party, so much fun!

today i smell

laundry soap and cleaner

brave flowers who are still blooming

fall in the air

"cherry" from the decongestant bottle

supper on the barbeque whichs really needs attention!

glad to be home!

conversation with a 9 year old

"Mom, I really want you to have another baby. You know a tiny one about this big!"

"No, I don't think so. I am 40 you know!"

"That's okay, I know Mom's who have baby's at 50!" (perish the thought!)

some more random discussion and then she pops out with...

"I think you should start wearing overalls again and grow your hair long!"

"Well, I did that when I was thirty. Besides forty year olds don't wear overalls!"

"Well I thought that when you turned 40 you were suppose to get over that kind of stuff?"

"Who told you that?"

"I did!"