These were thoughts I had back in March after competing in a martial arts tournament. Forgive me, life has been busy. Thoughts have been scattered.
I sit on the ferry. Heading away from an urban center. In the distance is the skyline, marked by the vistas of stunning coastal mountains. I can, from my vantage point, see the difference between two worlds. One that is remote, calm and the other a flurry of activity.
This weekend away has been full of varied emotions, thoughts and experiences.
This weekend I competed but more so I learned. I learned in watching, listening, participating and supporting team mates.
Many of us came to the tournament with varying hopes and goals. Some were realized, some were not. However, at the end of the day it doesn't really matter what does or doesn't hang around your neck. The lessons learned and the victories won come not only in the moment of competing, but before and after in the day to day grind of training.
I have learned a little about staying in the tough places, perserving admist the odds, digging deep to do your best.
I also understand how you don't make it to a goal by yourself. I don't think I have ever felt that more keenly. So aware of what others have invested into my teammates and I. How they worked with the raw materials we had.
In the end I think I have seen the good and bad of me, the strengths and weaknesses. Somehow both go hand in hand. Somehow we couldn't be strong if we weren't weak.
The fog is rolling in.
The sea turns to a dark gray.
The sky pours down rain.
I am at a peace. Quiet outside, quiet inside. Content.
Glad that I tried.
Glad that I competed.
And though none may understand, I needed to be here.